Uhm; Hi, People. Long time no see.
I have no idea of how long I haven't been blogging. I've been wanting to blog, but I just couldn't find the mood.
I am not sharing photos right now, I am sharing my thoughts.
So I was scrolling down on tumblr, when I saw this post about a girl saying things about 'dying'. And there's this girl- I suppose should be one of her friend- she's scared to death. She's worried of what that girl might be doing.
This friend of her asked for help from people to reblog her post, or at least try to contact her via tumblr, twitter, etc.
I consider that 'missing girl' as a lucky girl. She has someone who cares for her, someone who's worried about her whereabouts.
I honestly envy her. When I was being weird or stuffs, people didn't even care, or realize. Or worse; they knew something was wrong but refuse to do anything about it. I am a human with a heart too; I simply need a shoulder to cry on whenever I feel down.
I am tired of being the one chasing. I am tired of being the one fighting for a relationship. I am a very selfish person, I am too sensitive, and I usually do something without thinking twice. My insecurity is killing me bit by bit.
I am sad, I am disappointed of how I don't matter.
I admit that I've done many mistakes in the past, and I still make mistakes even till now. But please lead me, please tell me what is wrong and what is right, please help me to improve.
I want nothing but people to care about me, people to ask me what happened without me needing to say anything.
So hereby, I'm thanking every single of you who sticks with me up till now. I am grateful of having you guys asking me what's happening or what's bothering me. I notice every single of you, but to be honest-now- I don't feel complete because someone is missing.
I am sorry for my selfish thoughts, and the next time I blog I may find this post cheesy or disgusting. But whatever, I just need to get these things out.
I just feel like giving up on everything I do...
